Software, Software Development and other Atrocities

Most developers state that it is very difficult to communicate and work with users who do not know what they need. We always complain about users who specify mutually exclusive requirements, change their minds everyday or argue among themselves. We would prefer to work with people who can present clear and detailed requirements... oh yes, that would be heaven. mmmh, However, I think I'm not being fair with users. Some of them really do know their business and are aware of the technical implications of software design. Sometimes the problem is not the user but the developer. Sometimes we underestimate our users and assume that they know nothing and simply need to accept what we are going to develop for them. The problem is that we *don't listen* to them. And if users are not listening to us, meetings become conversations between deaf. This is the worst way to start a software development project.

I was wondering if there were some guidelines on how to deal with/understand users. So far I've read ideas about putting yourself on user's shoes or learning user's language. But, how do you do that? Maybe, if we sorted this communication problem out, we could reduce the level of complexity of software development. Any ideas?